Chat up lines

I think they're funny, so yeah. Cheesy, or just plain wrong, chat up lines please!

The funniest one I've heard:

"That dress is very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too."

ooohh... jo.... why am i not surprised?

'is that a ladder in your tights.... or just a stairway to heaven?'....

arg! the old ones are the best

Not surprised?! What are you implying? :O

Haha, have heard that one.

I heard another one yesterday..

Bloke: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both, I go to mine, and you go to yours.
Bloke: That's cool, because after shagging you in the back of my car, I don't care where you go.

MAde me laugh it did!

i am not implying anything don't need to use implication.... 'tis common knowledge that your mind is filth ...

also... do people use these lines on you?

also.... do they work?

Lol! My mind is not filth! Hahaha!

Someone has only ever tried once. The whole "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" line, but I knew it was coming so I told him not to bother

oooh... bet you cringed a bit.... prove that your mind is NOT filth then......

How on earth am I supposed to proove that it isn't? By ignoring that weirdly designed elephant face? Which I am currently doing.

How do you pull and elephant face Jo you dont have a trunk

I don't know :S I wasn't pulling one. I was ignoring the one Paul did.

it is quite 'something-other-than-elephant-ish' isn't it....come on.... you know your mind is filth

Yes, I also think the elephant is dead, as it has crosses for eyes. Poor thing.
My mind isn't filth! It just keeps me amused

ha! if i had a mind like yours i wouldn't need a girlfriend...

She hasn't and doesn't Paul

hmmm.... explains a lot

LOL! Well, must explain why I myself don't have a bloke...

aww poor jo..... i'm sure you don't want one though... they smell.... and...and... stuff

Hahaha!! Jo is absolutely fine as she is, lol. But they don't smell all that bad, really.

i smell of chanel allure pour homme... 'tis tres nice indeed... oh, and almond hand cream when i've had a bath....

Oh dear. Proper smelly stuff. I'd get a headache, haha!

nah, it smells subtle yet manly.... suits my personality in that respect

Almond hand cream - subtle yet manly? Are you sure?

erm... i meant the chanel... the cream is just because i can't bear wrinkly bath skin

Oh lol, I knew you meant the Chanel, I was being a dick, lol.
Oh dear, Paul, I think you may just be a woman in a bloke's body, haha!

shame... i would appreciate the boobs...

Why am I not surprised?

Must dash now, mum wants me to phone her, and I can't in this room. I'll probably head back home now too.
Speak later if you're all floating around then. Adios!